In this season of Halloween, I thought a little horror story suitable
PHOTO PROMPT © Peter Abbey
Billy turned onto the footbridge. Tapping his cane against the walls, he kept up a stream of encouragement to the dog. “Good girl, Maddie”
Suddenly, she stopped and growled.
“What is it, girl? A Fox?”
Maddie couldn’t abide foxes; even the smell rankled her enough that she’d lose concentration.
“What’s there Maddie?” Billy lent forward, feeling with his cane. It touched something.
He poked at the object. It yielded.
“Oh no, what have we found?” Crouching, he felt his way until his tentative fingers hit their target and he recognised it as a foot; a cold, clammy, small human foot.
Written for Friday Fictioneers – a 100 words story based on a photo prompt. Hosted by Rochelle. Read the other entries here.
Definitely a scary set up: lonely bridge, blind man, nervous dog, body. Somehow it was the word ‘small’ that made it all so much worse.
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Exactly my thought, Claire!
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Small is innocent and vulnerable, isn’t it. A lot conveyed by a “small” word.
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Thanks Claire. This is distilled from a short story I had published a while ago. I’ve been asked to put up the full length original, which is available now if you’re interested
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The fact that he was blind and had to touch the foot made it all the more horrific
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Yes, there’s something worse about touching something horrific than just seeing it.
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The fact of his blindness added so much more to an already suspensful tale. Very well done.
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Thanks Sandra, we’re lucky to be sighted
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Very well done indeed. Make this a bigger story and give us the rest of it in another post.
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Thank you. I’m glad you liked it. It was adapted and distilled from a short story which, on your request I have now posted on my blog. It was previously published by Horrified Press.
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Well, then, I’ll have to get over there and read the whole piece. Thanks for letting me know.
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Thanks
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Chilling tale, often wonder how the people who find bodies react. Good stuff.
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Yes and a little while ago I noticed in the news one poor soul discovered a dead body whilst walking his dog and then a week or so later the same man discovered another, once is bad enough, but two?
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Well done. Finding a dead person, large or small, is a fearful thought. But being blind and finding one? Terrifying.
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Thank you.The idea terrifies me, that’s for sure
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Hoping against hope for a miracle. Great story
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Thanks Mike
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Oh no! You added nicely to the creepiness by making him blind and the foot “small”.
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Thanks glad you liked it
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Dear Michael,
I can only echo the other comments. You really upped the tension making the man blind. Good build of tension.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle
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Ew, a scary set up and then a gruesome find – great tension!
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Thank you
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You led up to that carefully and chillingly, then hit us with that one word ‘small’.
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Everyone likes the word small in this piece, I’m glad I included it, it seems to have done a great job. Thanks for reading.
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The horror is even more intense with him being blind, his reaction, that of the dog… great story.
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it
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Wow, this is a brilliant story. In had great empathy for your character. Just the though of the cold clammy foot gave me shivers, adding that it was small took your story to another level.
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Thank-you. It’s distilled from a short story I had published a while ago. The full length version is on my WordPress site if you re interested
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I will definitely check out the short story.
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Thanks very much
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This is brilliantly written. Great build up to the discovery. I can only repeat what others have said – the fact he was blind and the foot was small intensified the horror of this story.
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Thanks Clare, being blind must be scary in these situations and small gives the sense of vulnerability
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Scary!
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Thanks.
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Well that’s not what you’d hope to find on a walk out. Especially disturbing being blind and stumbling across something so horrific. Could be the opening to a particularly disturbing thriller 🙂
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Thanks, it’s actually from a short story I wrote and which was published a little while ago.
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Sounds interesting …
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a well constructed story. perfect in every way.
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Thanks that’s a cracking comment
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Thanks that’s a lovely compliment.
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Spooky!
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Thanks Dawn
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Well written Mick. You built up the tension perfectly to the gruesome end. Happy Hallowe’en!
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Thanks. I’ve been way for Halloween and it was good, I hope you enjoyed yourself.
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Reblogged this on Journal Edge.
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Thank-you very much, it’s really appreciated. I’m glad you liked it.
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My pleasure 🙂 that i could be able to find a Great Writer , thanks , have a nice day
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Mick, you share a name with my dad. He was Raymond Millard, but had the nickname Mickey, although I never learned why.
I can imagine that being blind this may have had even more impact since their was no precursor of suspicion before the flashy reality. Nice.
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Thanks very much for commenting Joe, I’m pleased you enjoyed it.
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