PHOTO PROMPT © CEayr
“It’s a shabby outhouse, why would they padlock it?”
“We’ll know when we get it open. Can you pick it?”
“If I did, would it open the door to your heart too?”
She smouldered, probably with irritation but he preferred to interpret it as desire.
“They’re hiding something.”
“Like you’re hiding your passion for me?”
She scowled at him. “Just open the door, the only prize you’ll get is what might be on the inside.”
Undefeated he said, “Hope it’s love then.”
As the door creaked open, three decaying corpses fell forwards.
Alison vomited.
“She even pukes beautifully,” he thought.
Written for Friday Fictioneers – a 100 words story based on a photo prompt. Hosted by Rochelle. Read the other entries here.
I wasn’t expecting that punchline
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Nor was I until it arrived
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“She even pukes beautifully” Best line I have read this month.
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Thank you for a lovely compliment. 🙂
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Ha! There’s no putting that man off is there? She must be amazing 🙂 Love the Scooby Doo element there, like they’re following the clues of a mystery. Nice one
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I don’t know what she’s like but he’s just pure gone. He sees only her, rotting corpses can’t divert his attention
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Yep – you know you’re smitten when you don’t even notice a rotting corpse at your feet! Nice tale Mick
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Talk about a one track mind! Good chuckle at that last line. Nice one.
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Thanks Iain. Yeah he’s totally obsessed
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I hope that they have not just gone and brought this house, loved the last line.
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Thanks Michael. I don’t think the’ve bought the house and I don’t think much to his chances either, unfortunately.
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Dear Michael,
That’s a man with tunnel vision. That last line got me. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. He is a total lost cause
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He is beyond smitten!
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He’s absolutely gone, isn’t he. Corpses falling around him but he only has eyes for her.
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True love. Most definitely. 😦
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Rotten corpses are one thing, but vomit? He’s really lost to the world. 😀 Thanks for the laugh, that was hilarious.
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Thanks, glad it made you laugh
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Nice little snappy exchange of words. Loved the dialogue. Also the last line. Almost made me puke.
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Thanks very much. Sorry to almost make you puke
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He’s a lost cause I think! Maybe his tenacity will pay off one day. Made me smile.
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Thanks, but I think he’s beating his head against a brick wall there
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Killer last line, you really made me laugh.
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Thanks, glad you enjoyed it
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Yeah, that’ll make anyone toss their cookies. Good build-up! 🙂
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Thanks
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I might have vomited too, perhaps before the corpses arrived. 😉 Great twist! That’s what you get for opening locked doors: disgusting corpses and being stuck in the police station giving testimony for the rest of the day.
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Yeah, curiosity can be a killer 🙂
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Now that’s what I call SMITTEN!
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It’s the wildest, depraved extreme of smitten 🙂
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i guess she wasn’t into him. time to move on.
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He should, but can he?
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HE is truly smitten! I love that last line. It shows the depths of his infatuation!
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Thanks Clare, I wondered what reaction that line would get.
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Oh the poor guy, he’s lost. You built up his devotion beautifully.
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Thank-you. Yes he’s a total goner I’m afraid
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Nothing to deter against love (or it might be lust)… wonder what she expected to find.
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Not sure what she was expecting but he seems to be hoping against hope of finding love
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That boy had a one track mind. Better be careful what he wishes for.
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Yeah, a bit of a sad case really. Young love, eh?
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This guy is determined. I didn’t see the vomit coming and his reaction to it! Great piece, Michael. Loved the dialogue.
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Thanks Amy, glad you liked it
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It must really be love if he thinks she pukes beautifully. What a twist at the end. That was a surprise. The smell must have been terrific. Good writing, Mick. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks Suzanne. I know, he’s oblivious to all the horrible stuff, he’s just too far gone. Bless him.
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