PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz
Eileen Halfsharp stood arms crossed, biceps like hams, her bottom lip assaulting her nose.
“What’s that look for?” stammered Halfsharp.
“It seemed appropriate for the occasion. Why is one of my chairs in the river?”
“Thought I’d catch us dinner, you like a nice trout. When the fish are used to the chair, I’ll get on it and pull ‘em out”
Eileen’s brow creased menacingly, “In all these forty years, you’ve never got it quite right,” she rumbled.
“It’s the thought that counts?” Halfsharp offered nervously.
“And if I catch the bugger that coined that phrase, I’ll swing for him!”
Written for Friday Fictioneers – a 100 words story based on a photo prompt. Hosted by Rochelle. Read the other entries here.
Michael Wynn 
I’m with her. I’ve always believed it’s the execution that counts
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And you’d be right. 🙂
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We know who runs the show in this relationship…
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Yeah the big matriarch, poor chap, he’s just trying his flawed best.
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Oh, how I love that first line! ‘Assaulting her nose’? Fabulous. A perfect snapshot of their relationship, Michael.
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Thanks Lynn, it’s always satisfying when someone comments on the lines I like personally and gets what I was trying to do. 🙂
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My pleasure, Michael, absolutely 🙂
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It’s the thought that counts… that catch-all phrase for thoughtlessness, stupidity… etc etc. This reminded me of the characters in that song “hole in my bucket”.
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Thanks Sandra, yes that song fits the scenario well.
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I’m with her too, what a poor excuse for people to get away with getting things wrong! 🙂
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It is when you think of it, Iain. Thanks for reading
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With biceps like that – he better be careful, or else I fear for his future. 🙂
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Yes, she’s powerful and he’s not, if she comes t him with a rolling pin he better get out the way
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To coin another phrase she obviously wears the trousers in that relationship! The description of Eileen paints a vivid picture. I do feel a bit of sympathy for him though. As a Fulham supporter, I am used to supporting the under-dog!
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Yes I see a large lady and a small man. He tries his best but it’s never quite good enough.
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Good one, well said.
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Thanks
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Funny name, funny story 🙂
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Thank-you. Halfsharp is an old word of derision round here. If you did something daft they’d always be someone to tell you, “you must be half sharp.”
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Never heard that before. Halfwit, which is similar, but not as funny 🙂
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First line gave me a genuine chuckle, thanks for that 🙂
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NO thank-you, that’s a great compliment
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The old joke of the woman saying to the doctor she had a terrible problem of her husband filling the tub full of water, getting in with his fishing pole and fishing into the commode. The doc asked if she had ever seen a psychiatrist, she said, “No, I’m too busy cleaning fish.” Maybe the guy has something there.
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It may be old but I’d not heard that one before, thanks for sharing
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Hey, any port in a storm, you know?
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What a fun story. I like the way he thinks – a bit off kilter, but at least he’s thinking. I fear Eileen would beg to differ.
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Thanks, he’s doing his best to think but it doesn’t really come naturally.
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Dear Michael,
He comes by the name Halfsharp quite honestly. Fun story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle, yes he lives his name, so to speak.
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Poor long-suffering Eileen 🙂
I like the image “her bottom lip assaulting her nose” – really brings her expression to life in my mind.
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Thanks, I envisaged her as not the most attractive person and virtually gurning.
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I think there will be a long line of people myself included waiting to swing for the bugger that coined that phrase. I love the idea of Halfsharp leaving the chair in the river and waiting for the fish to get used to it. I can imagine him thinking he’s just had the smartest idea ever when he came up with that one
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Thank-you, he’s definitely half sharp by name and nature.
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My mum used to call me Half-sharp…
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Yes, I think it’s a particularly Northamptonshire word, I also heard it a lot growing up. 🙂
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Love the character’s names, Mick. I think he’s got a point there, but maybe if he wears a hat nobody will notice.
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Thanks, Half sharp is a term of derision in these here parts, particularly when I was younger, used often by your elders when you’d done something a bit dopey.
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It’s better than Half-wit, which is commonly used here.
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I must admit halfwit is too widespread to hold any literary value. I love finding the lesser used words, often particular to one region and thus not over used yet.
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Me too. In Canada they often use “Hoser” which means a foolish or uncultivated person.
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Great fun! Loved the imagery especially of “her bottom lip assaulting her nose.”
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Thank-you, that line does seem popular and I certainly enjoyed writing it.
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hmm… i’m getting the idea who wears the pants in the family. 🙂
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You got it in one. 🙂
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Ha, a marriage maybe made in heaven but since gone pear-shaped! Oh dear.
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Always destined to, I fear. Thanks for your comment
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A man would be hard-pushed to view a woman like Eileen through rose-coloured spectacles. She’s fearsome and I bet she nags her husband like a fishwife (no apologies for the pun). You’ve painted such a brilliant picture of her. I bet that Halfsharp wishes Eileen did catch the bugger who coined that phrase!
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I think, they are quite stereotypical of characters from English sit-coms of yore. She definitely nags, he definitely deserves at least some of it. Bu like the chicken and the egg, which came first?
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True. Which, indeed?
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The first line sets the image of how she feels immediately.
Nice take on the photo prompt. I love where you took it.
Isadora 😎
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Thank-you Isadora, it’s nice of you to say so. It’s one thing seeing it in your head but translating it to words so others can see is always difficult, so it’s great when someone says it works.
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It sure did … and … you’re welcome
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Sounds logical to me. 🙂
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I think the thought counts a little bit, but delivering makes the difference
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It certainly does, sorry for the late reply Bjorn and thanks for comenting
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I love the description of Eileen. Colorful language and fitting too for this piece. This made me smile.
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Thank-you, sorry for not replying earlier, another one I didn’t notice. Glad you liked it.
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She scared me right off. Good description!
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Thanks Dawn
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