PHOTO PROMPT © Fatima Fakier Deria
Our old barge nudged the quay.
“Tie us up!” Papa shouted.
I held the rope as though it were something peculiar. ‘Do everything normally,’ Papa had said. Suddenly, I didn’t know what that was but then we’d never hidden an allied airman before.
My eyes tracked across the soldiers and the policeman waiting to inspect the boat.
“You hot?” barked the officer.
“Been cooking breakfast,” Papa interjected, drawing calmly on his pipe.
The officer’s eyes flicked from me to the cabin door; trickling sweat stung my eyes.
“Going north?” he asked, adding impassively, “Might be best to unload before Amsterdam.”
Written for Friday Fictioneers – a 100 words story based on a photo prompt. Hosted by Rochelle. Read the other entries here.
I love the unstated bit of the story. Very clever
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Thanks Neil
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Great piece of war intrigue and suspense Michael, well done
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Thanks Iain
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You built up the tension and left us wondering! Terrific.
Click to read my FriFic tale
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Thanks Keith
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Dear Michael,
Good build of tension. Nicely written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle
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Hard not to sweat when you’re doing something that could get you in serious trouble… Papa is a cool cucumber though! Loved this, Michael.
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Thanks Dale
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And we could be in this mess ourselves.
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Well said, Stuart!
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Indeed. Thanks for reading
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The unsaid speaks volumes. Well done.
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Thank-you
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You’re welcome.
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Looks like they struck it lucky with the policeman.
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Yeah, he was dutch and sympathetic to the resistance
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it looks like he was saved and they were too. at least, for now.
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Yeah, they’ll have to be careful at Amsterdam when trying to smuggle him onto a boat to take him back to Blighty
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The boy’s fear, his father’s coolness, the officer’s disinterest, all come across so well in this piece. So well done.
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Thank-you Sarah Ann
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Very well-drawn characters, especially considering how economical you had to be in the telling. I was left just longing for them to get away safely. There must have been many small interchanges like this back in the day. Good story, left me wanting to know more.
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Thanks, it was a struggle to whittle it down to 100 words.
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It read to me as though the guard was not all he seemed either. Very nicely done.
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Thanks Sandra. I think he had a moment of deciding whether to let them go or shop them
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Super story, Michael.
To pick out just two highlights for me.
“I held the rope as though it were something peculiar.” What a terrific way of describing how the lad felt at that moment.
“Might be best to unload before Amsterdam.” The ambiguity here is great; does he, or doesn’t he know of the airman? Wow! Really powerful!
There’s just so much going on here, mostly unsaid. Really excellent!
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Thanks Penny. I think he suspects and doesn’t want to search the boat for fear of confirming his suspicions. He’s sympathetic to the cause.
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Excellent work, Michael. The youngster’s nervousness is apparent. I hope it doesn’t give them away.
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Thanks Russell. I think the nervousness has given them away but fortunately the policeman is sympathetic to the cause
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Sounds like the scene from a movie. Enjoyed reading it. There was tension, suspense, everything there.
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Thanks very much
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Well, shoot! This is what I get for being late to the party. Everyone has said it all. This is wonderfully written, Michael. Kudos.
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Thanks Alicia
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I’m with Alicia. Everyone has commented on what I felt. The sweat on the father and the boy was palpable. Nicely written, Michael. I would be curious as where the story would go next.
Isadora 😎
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Thanks Isadora. Hopefully they’ll reach Amsterdam and get the airman on a boat to safety
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Ooh I loved the hidden allied airmen. World war stories are the best. So much tension in your story I may have been sweating more than Father. I enjoyed this story very much!
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Thanks Fatima
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A wonderfully crafted and gripping mini thriller. leaves you wanting to know what happens next. Good story Michael.
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Thank-you
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Loads of tension. I’d love to read the rest of this story.
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Thank-you
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Oooo the fear is palpable. Well told
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Thank-you
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