copyright – Roger Bultot
An eccentric professor could have been comfortable, a charlady would have demanded a bonus up front even to contemplate the room; a chaos of piled-high dusty files, books and dirty coffee cups.
Bamford pondered the young woman seated client-side of his littered desk. He hunted clues to her character. He followed her gaze to the windowsill.
“You like my flower.”
“It’s an elegant light in dismal surroundings,” she answered freely and unselfconsciously.
He smiled at the result of his examination.
“It’s a white orchid, it symbolises innocence and beauty. I shall be very happy to take your case, Miss Stevens.”
Written for Friday Fictioneers – a 100 words story based on a photo prompt. Hosted by Rochelle. Read the other entries here.
Ooh, what case does the professor intend to solve for her? Very intriguing, Michael. I was a little confused with the opening – after a reread I realised you were trying to show us how untidy the place was, yes? A fascinating start to something longer, perhaps … 🙂
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That’s three people have suggested it could be longer, thanks but I’m still on with a couple of others you all suggested expanding so, I’ll pass on this one for a while at least. It’s so tempting when you get nice comments like this though. 🙂
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It’s tough, isn’t it? I find many flash pieces produce characters or ideas I could run with, but never have the time to develop further. Oh for endless hours in which to weave our tales … Bookmark it for the future, Michael – it has potential 🙂
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Thanks, I will.
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I think they are on the point of having a fruitful relationship, in the professional sense, of course. Nicely done.
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Thanks, Sandra. Yes I think we’ll keep it professional this week
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I wonder if Holmes would have noticed that? I liked your character
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Thanks Neil, it’s all he has to work out whether she’s genuine or not
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Like Neil I immediately thought Holmes. A couple of interesting characters.
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Thanks Iain, but he’s more Sam Spade, I think.
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I sense a combination of film noir and holmes in this… I wonder if she’s really an orchid though… or maybe femme fatale.
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Thanks Bjorn, that’s what I was going for, the pulp fiction type of genre. So far she seems on the level.
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There is a lot I like about this story. I liked how “He hunted clues to her character” and “It’s an elegant light in dismal surroundings.” both lines brought me into the character’s world.
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Thank-you, I was experimenting with lines and phrases this week, glad they worked
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a chaos of piled-high dusty files – What a wonderful line, the best of many in your story. I would love to know what her “case” is. To be continued….
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Thanks, but I’m going to park this for future expansion as I have to many other half finished things at the moment. Glad you liked the lines which is what I was gong for this week, to see what works and what doesn’t.
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Pulpy yet dense prose, very nice. I’m curious now as to what the case will be…
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Thanks, Pulp fiction was the atmosphere I was trying to catch, innocence amongst the debris of a shady world. Thanks for you comment
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Ah, he starts his detective work by sussing her out first, clever of him!
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Yeah, he doesn’t want to get involved if she’s corrupt herself. As she can recognise beauty, he feels she must have beauty in her soul, so takes the case.
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Not sure I follow his logic — I’ve known plenty of people with cold hearts who surrounded themselves with beautiful things — but in person you have so much more to go on, and I’m guessing he has good instincts for this kind of thing.
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He’s following his instinct, which is all he has to go on at the moment. Because she can appreciate beauty, he’s willing to give her the benefit of the doubt
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I can get behind that. We could all use a little more benefit of the doubt. 🙂
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Loved the way you described the room in the first paragraph.
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Thanks, glad you liked it and it worked
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Dear Michael,
I love the atmosphere, the cluttered desk, etc. I could see them and hear them. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle, atmosphere was one of the main things I think, the beautiful growing amidst the murky
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This was a most enjoyable read that I wish went on for another 1000 words…
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Thanks Dale, I liked the premise, unfortunately I won’t be writing more of this soon, as concentrating on too many other things. When I get comments like this I always get tempted to give it a go and now I have half finished pieces all over the place. 🙂 I have to be strict with myself, get behind me temptation.
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Bummer for us but discipline is definitely necessary if one is to finish what we started…
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Really liked this opening scene, starting with the mess, “a charlady would have demanded a bonus up front…” He just needs a smelly cigar to complete the ‘seedy PI’ image. Makes you wonder about his character…if she should trust her problem into his sloppy hands?
I esp like the phrase “seated client-side of his littered desk.” The orchid, so.intriguingly out of place, is probably gagging. 🙂
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Thank-you for a great comment, I think you’ve spotted everything I was trying to do with this, which is very encouraging because it implies I succeeded. Thanks again
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Wonder what would have happenedIf she didn’t like the flower?
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I don’t know, he would have had to find another way to work out her motives and character, but he believes if she was corrupt she wouldn’t see the good and pure, so takes her case.
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I saw a professor and a student on first examining this picture prompt, but could not develope my story. I am glad now because it would have been a pale shadow of “Blooming through the Morass”. Your story painted great images for me
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Thank you Mike, very kind of you to say so. I like the idea of something blooming through the murky and corrupt, the contrast is great to explore
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i assume he’s a private investigator. good take on the prompt. :).
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Yeah, he’s a PI with a conscience, he doesn’t want to take on the case if she’s bad new. Thanks for your comment
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Is More-Ass one word or two? (sorry, I couldn’t help myself). I bet she’s wearing a hat, and sitting nervously clutching a purse in her lap. I could see this snippet blooming into something larger. Guns don’t kill detectives, love does. Well done, Mick.
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Thanks for your comment, nailed and accurate as always. It was supposed to be a struggling PI’s office as so often found in pulp fiction. I liked the More-Ass reference although innuendo was last week. 🙂
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A good eval in the style of a good Holmsian write. Leaves me wanting to hear the rest of the client’s story, and to follow the case. 😦 ❤
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Thanks, he was supposed to be a bit of a hard boiled PI trying to decide whether she was a genuine innocent client or someone with an evil agenda
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May one assume that he believes her story? Intriguing.
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Yeah he decides to believe her as a corrupt person would have too dark a soul to appreciate the beauty in the flower
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Bamford’s got it bad, and that ain’t good.
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He’s just trying to fathom whether she’s on the level, as she recognises the beauty of the flower he figures she must be trustworthy
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I see many adventures ahead for them. Nice, Mike.
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Thanks.
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The description of the room is fantastic. It enables the reader to see it clearly.
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Wonderful descriptors!
I felt like I followed her gaze.
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He’s studying her but I sense she’s better at studying things.
Lovely.
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Hard boiled but definitely edible. And next…?
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Thanks, hard boiled was what I hoped for. Sorry for the late reply
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This sounds like the classical Victorian detective. Great descriptions to set the scene, Mick. He has a powerful mind for detection but no sense of physical order. Good writing. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks, Suzanne, I wanted him honest but worn and street wise, a bit murky. Rough diamond with a heart of gold
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